Women in Japan

You think women not being ‘allowed’ to cook sushi is weird? How about them not being ‘allowed’ to be buried with their own families? There are a few more issues at hand than this single sentence scary headline, so I’ll dissect it down a bit for you.

Cemeteries in Japan are a little more advanced than America, in that they don’t bury your whole body because that wastes a ton of space, so you’re first cremated and then placed in a smaller plot. I know a lot of folks that even find this outdated and don’t wish to be buried at all, so not EVERYONE opts for getting buried.

What is not so advanced is families telling other members where and where not to be buried. Traditionally, when a woman marries in Japan, she is assimilated into her husband’s family and essentially cut off from her own. It is really a terrible deal because her husband’s family often doesn’t welcome her as their own but just tolerates her presence. The wife/mother in law relationship is a particularly tense one. When I first heard about this I thought it was an outdated stereotype, but it actually does happen quite often. I don’t really see how this cycle has continued for so many generations. You would think the women in each family would remember how crappy it was getting married, losing your own family only to be treated like dirt in another. This problem is compounded if the husband’s family is old and has to live with him. I’m starting to see why the 自殺 rate is so high…..

The issue here is whether or not a woman can choose to be buried with her own family once she has been married. Since she has 'left' her own family and 'joined' her husbands, some feel that she should only be buried with the husband's family. I think the bigger issue here is ‘who the hell cares?’, but again this is a tradition in Japan so common sense does not apply.

Women are making huge strides in Japan, which is great because they have had to put up with a lot of crap over the years. Even something as simple as keeping your last name when you marry causes a big stink and a lawsuit in Japan. Keep fighting the good fight ladies!

Women and Sushi

I’ve mentioned before how ‘tradition’ is a viable excuse in Japan, and it has popped up again in a recent outrage. Let me start by saying that I honestly don’t think this problem is nearly as big as
the news is making it. News on Japan has been wrong before. Plus, on slow news days, they like to make up confrontation. (link to Cracked news article). It is quite possible that there is only 1 offended chef in the story I’m about to share.

Basically, there is a new restaurant in Tokyo that has managed to combine 2 of Japan’s greatest services: sushi, and paying people to talk to you. This sushi bar is staffed entirely by women who both make sushi and converse with the customers. Its like a hooters that serves sushi – how is that a problem??

I see no problem here

The problem is that sushi making in Japan is traditionally a man’s job. Its tradition, enough said!
What I like most about this situation is that people actually feel like they can say that in Japan.
Even when I participated in the Taiko Matsuri I was told that women are not allowed to ride on the ‘float’, because they are ‘unclean’. This was the one instance where I saw gaijin come out on top. Take that women of Japan!! Oh wait, this is kinda sad.

If you thought this was going to be a post about Nyotaimori (女体盛り), I appologize, but I will get to that post as soon as I do the 'research'.

Katakana vs the English Language

Before you get too excited about learning Katakana, there is yet another down side to this distant cousin of actual words. Most, but not all, カタカナ words are borrowed from English. Japanese (particularly drunk Japanese) assume all Katakana is English so you as an English speaker should understand.

First of all, the Katakana word is likely only related to the original word by one vowel sound.

For Example:

Naita- This comes from the word Nighter, which is somehow supposed to mean 'night game', like a night baseball game.

Secondly, there are other Katakana words based on German, French, Korean, and others.

For example:

Anke-to (アンケート): Survey. This is based on the French word, Enquette with the same meaning.

Third....Katakana is retarded.

Kariumu (カリウム) : Potassium. Yeah, that makes sense. Actually, it at least explains why a K is used for Potassium in the periodic table...but how the hell am I supposed to know that?


If you refuse to learn カタカナ, you will never be able to speak Japanese well. But on the other hand, you won't have to butcher your native language... Before I completely convince you that Katakana is the most annoying aspect of Japanese, here are a couple katakana words that aren't so bad.

OK：Okay.　It means exactly what you think it means. Is used to say things like 全然OK (zenzen OK): its completely fine.

セフレ,Sefure: Friend with benefits. Is a combination of the word Sex and Friend.

Red Light Post

Just in case you all thought I was joking about this stuff, I absolutely was not. In this rough economy, even the sex industry is slashing its prices but I’m honestly surprised this is not more popular. You would think that if places in America offered a legal 'full release' massage there would be a line out the door 3 miles long. I think it is a conspiracy by the strip clubs to keep these kinds of places outlawed in America. Whose going to go spend 100 bucks at a SC when they can actually get results for 30 bucks?

The safety of the red light district in Tokyo actually makes the list for reasons why Tokyo is awesome. Though the girls that work at these sort of places aren't the best Tokyo has to offer (and they usually aren't even Japanese) and many are well into their 30's, it is still amazing to be able to walk the streets and listen to these women give you their 'sales pitch' without worrying about getting mugged and/or shanked. They even serve you tea while you're waiting for your massage!....so I've been told. There is something to be learned here; when you make something legal, the government can then regulate it and make it safe. But in Japan, everywhere is safe anyway, so it’s DOUBLE SAFE.

Tokyo around 3am - safest place on earth

So if you just so happen to be walking the red light district in Tokyo and hear the words Kimochi ii (気持ちいい) and massa-ji (マッサージ), then you are likely in the right place.

Weird Ass Japan

I’m a huge fan of cracked.com, and a common theme on the website is how ridiculous Japan is. Here is what most readers think of Japan. While it’s easy to blame the media….you know what, I’ll just blame the media. The only stuff from Japan to make it to the US is their over the top and usually perverted アニメ (incorrectly pronounced anne-ih-may), even stranger porn, sushi, bad お酒 (incorrectly pronounced sock-ee), and more recently, Hello Kitty.

Did you know that all Japanese AV (adult video) has to be censored so you can’t actually see anything? When you have to blur all the good parts, you end up getting creative to keep people's interest. The weird AV that you see now is sort of the movie companies’ way of exploiting a loophole. Apparently Japan feels like you shouldn't see genitals, but it's okay to see 23 dudes take on one crying teenager...but I digress.

Its crazy how quickly the weird aspects and traditions of one culture spread to another faster than the legitimate aspects. For instance, America views Japan as a workaholic, rice & endangered species eating, tentacle loving, fetish haven; While they view America as an obese, rude, guns and beef loving, crime infested crap hole. I think the major problem is both parties are getting all their information on each other from youtube or their local news. Its fun to say Japan sells used underwear in vending machines or that everyone in Japan knows karate, but that just isn't the case.

This Scene is Not Normal

It is a bit odd that Japan is pushing the cool Japan slogan, when its key exports are anime, video games, and TV's - 3 things least likely to be associated with the word 'cool. Meanwhile, all of the best stuff from Japan (umeshu, jyagariko, sexy fashion, trains, and some music) is nowhere to be found in America. You need to get on that Japan. America needs to know what you really have to offer. At least send over a few skinny girls once in a while to help counteract America's morbid obesity.

地震の後

This is the kind of stuff I love to hear about Japan. I can rant all I want about how awesome Japan and its residents are, but this goes beyond words.

In the midst of America sensationalizing and over exaggerating a small radiation leak, you can find stories of Japanese people sticking together and following social order. Does everyone remember hurricane Katrina and how COPS in New Orleans were looting everything they could
find??? I sure as hell do. Japan just got rocked by a ridiculously large earthquake and tsunami, and they’re waiting patiently in lines for absolutely essential items. Some have had to ride bikes for miles just to find This disaster has given Japan a chance to show its true
colors, and they are radiant. Besides the chu-hais and wonderfully skinny and sexy women, this is my favorite aspect of Japan. Though it is a source of conflict at times for my more individualistic mind set, the cohesion and morality in Japan is beyond compare.

There is little crime and everyone finds a way to get along though there are more than 10 times as many people per square mile than in the US. You could leave a sack of money in the middle of
Umeda station and pick it up the next day from lost and found. In all seriousness, I know folks who have left suitcases unattended for 10+ hours in the stations to go sightseeing only to find their suitcases exactly where they left them.

This may be surprising to some (Americans), but there are parts of the world where people are not douches. There is a socially acceptable way to behave and treat fellow human beings, and no disaster should change that. Thank you Japan for providing a fantastic example of non-douchery.

感覚論

Okay, I guess I should comment on the nuclear 'crisis' in Japan. I suppose the most obvious comment is 'Seriously, Fukushima has nothing to do with Chernobyl'

The problem is that 'radiation' is a buzz word. Much like 'asbestos' or 'carcinogens', people know these things are 'bad' but have absolutely no idea at what levels or how these bad things even spread. Even Chernobyl's radiation didn't spread more than 30 miles outside the site. This probably explains why Americans have been buying up iodine pills. These pills protect your thyroid against cancer caused by radiation exposure. Yes, Americans are buying pills that only protect one gland from radiation exposure from a scenario that is practically impossible all the way in the US…Am I the only one who is completely confused???.

There is already a growing fear of Japanese food as well. If there was a reactor leak in Nine Mile Point, New York, would you stop buying Florida Oranges?? If you are in East Asia, yes, yes you
would. There are hotel menus that have started removing sushi from their menus because of radiation fears.

If anyone has this situation on lockdown, its Japan. Seriously, Japan had power up and running in Hiroshima hours after the bomb went off. We're talking about the country that invented the Playstation, Chu-hai and the glasses free 3-D TV!

As you can see, I am getting a tad annoyed by all the fearmongering. But perhaps the biggest annoyance is the fact that when the dust settles and everything is okay, nobody will have learned anything...

アメリカ人には常識が欠けている。。。