ホスト in Japan

For an inside scoop into the more seedy and REAL Japan, I strongly suggest you check out this book and blog.  It is written by an extremely good friend (and nampa mentor) of mine.  If you've ever seen The Great Happiness Space and wondered how true it is, wonder no more!

While hosting can be a great way to destroy your liver and throw up blood, it is also a pretty great way to score chicks and practice your Japanese.  I'm not trying to give a sales pitch for the profession, because it pretty much sells itself.  Also, I'm just saying that you shouldn't be so quick to diss these effeminate men (?) when you see them stalking their 90lb prey in downtown Osaka. 

In all seriousness though, it is a pretty good gig, especially if you're a foreigner.  Its pretty hard to get a legit job in Japan, even if you do speak Japanese.  Many host clubs have Yakuza connections so hiring a gaijin isn't really a problem for those folks. 

What are you still doing on my blog?  Give the link above a shot and get inside the head of a tall, blonde, gaijin with a golden shamrock up his ass.  This dude has some stories.

AV

Since it was recently valentine's day, I'd like to talk about porn.  Besides, it has been way too long since I've expressed my love and hatred of Japanese porn (AV).  This is also the first question I get asked when I talk about living in Japan; "why is their porn so weird?"  To be completely honest, Japanese porn is a freaking mystery that I will likely never understand since it simultaneously has so much yet so little to offer.  Anyone whose stumbled upon this particular genre knows what I'm talking about.  I'm going to try and generalize as best I can but obviously since there is so much porn out there, not all Japanese AV will fit in to my description.

What everyone seems to notice first in Japan is the multitude of porn readily available.  Everything from animals with tentacles, bondage, to ripped panty hose is all too commonplace.  Basically, fetish porn is regular porn.  Despite all this ridiculous stuff, you can't actually SEE any of it.  Its all blurred out.  Japan used to outlaw even showing pubic hair (and the yakuza do produce uncensored stuff, but its harder to find).

I still remember my first trip to Tokyo when my bros killed some time by browsing a video shop...for research.  The first floor had everything you'd expect from a porn shop but as we ascended the floors the videos got more and more disgusting.  I mean 'dry heaving and needing a therapist' disgusting.  Needless to say, I didn't make it to the top floor, I stopped at the bleeding and animal level and decided to call it a day. 

That all sounded bad.  Don't get me wrong, its porn so it can't be all that bad.  Its the age of the internet, so you can find other freaky, non-blurred porn with a few mouse clicks.  And how can America be so quick to decide what is 'normal' porn?  When I first got to Japan, all of it seemed new to me, and new was good!  Lawson and 7-11 sell it right next to the cup noodles, so its hard to ignore.  The girls tend to be INCREDIBLY cute.  Sometimes too cute. Like, so cute and innocent that they have no confidence and you feel a little guilty watching them be taken advantage of...also, they cry.

Okay, whats wrong with you Japan!  While I'd like to celebrate an abundance of porn, this seriously can't be good for the general public.  The real problem is Japanese people don't get taught sex ed in school, and they most certainly don't talk about sex with their family, so where are they learning this stuff?  A nation of teenagers learning about sex from fetish porn can't possibly be doing any good.  Especially while rape is a genre of porn...but it seems like that's a problem that Japan has yet to figure out. 

Women in Japan

You think women not being ‘allowed’ to cook sushi is weird? How about them not being ‘allowed’ to be buried with their own families? There are a few more issues at hand than this single sentence scary headline, so I’ll dissect it down a bit for you.

Cemeteries in Japan are a little more advanced than America, in that they don’t bury your whole body because that wastes a ton of space, so you’re first cremated and then placed in a smaller plot. I know a lot of folks that even find this outdated and don’t wish to be buried at all, so not EVERYONE opts for getting buried.

What is not so advanced is families telling other members where and where not to be buried. Traditionally, when a woman marries in Japan, she is assimilated into her husband’s family and essentially cut off from her own. It is really a terrible deal because her husband’s family often doesn’t welcome her as their own but just tolerates her presence. The wife/mother in law relationship is a particularly tense one. When I first heard about this I thought it was an outdated stereotype, but it actually does happen quite often. I don’t really see how this cycle has continued for so many generations. You would think the women in each family would remember how crappy it was getting married, losing your own family only to be treated like dirt in another. This problem is compounded if the husband’s family is old and has to live with him. I’m starting to see why the 自殺 rate is so high…..

The issue here is whether or not a woman can choose to be buried with her own family once she has been married. Since she has 'left' her own family and 'joined' her husbands, some feel that she should only be buried with the husband's family. I think the bigger issue here is ‘who the hell cares?’, but again this is a tradition in Japan so common sense does not apply.

Women are making huge strides in Japan, which is great because they have had to put up with a lot of crap over the years. Even something as simple as keeping your last name when you marry causes a big stink and a lawsuit in Japan. Keep fighting the good fight ladies!

Women and Sushi

I’ve mentioned before how ‘tradition’ is a viable excuse in Japan, and it has popped up again in a recent outrage. Let me start by saying that I honestly don’t think this problem is nearly as big as
the news is making it. News on Japan has been wrong before. Plus, on slow news days, they like to make up confrontation. (link to Cracked news article). It is quite possible that there is only 1 offended chef in the story I’m about to share.

Basically, there is a new restaurant in Tokyo that has managed to combine 2 of Japan’s greatest services: sushi, and paying people to talk to you. This sushi bar is staffed entirely by women who both make sushi and converse with the customers. Its like a hooters that serves sushi – how is that a problem??

I see no problem here

The problem is that sushi making in Japan is traditionally a man’s job. Its tradition, enough said!
What I like most about this situation is that people actually feel like they can say that in Japan.
Even when I participated in the Taiko Matsuri I was told that women are not allowed to ride on the ‘float’, because they are ‘unclean’. This was the one instance where I saw gaijin come out on top. Take that women of Japan!! Oh wait, this is kinda sad.

If you thought this was going to be a post about Nyotaimori (女体盛り), I appologize, but I will get to that post as soon as I do the 'research'.