Women in Japan

You think women not being ‘allowed’ to cook sushi is weird? How about them not being ‘allowed’ to be buried with their own families? There are a few more issues at hand than this single sentence scary headline, so I’ll dissect it down a bit for you.

Cemeteries in Japan are a little more advanced than America, in that they don’t bury your whole body because that wastes a ton of space, so you’re first cremated and then placed in a smaller plot. I know a lot of folks that even find this outdated and don’t wish to be buried at all, so not EVERYONE opts for getting buried.

What is not so advanced is families telling other members where and where not to be buried. Traditionally, when a woman marries in Japan, she is assimilated into her husband’s family and essentially cut off from her own. It is really a terrible deal because her husband’s family often doesn’t welcome her as their own but just tolerates her presence. The wife/mother in law relationship is a particularly tense one. When I first heard about this I thought it was an outdated stereotype, but it actually does happen quite often. I don’t really see how this cycle has continued for so many generations. You would think the women in each family would remember how crappy it was getting married, losing your own family only to be treated like dirt in another. This problem is compounded if the husband’s family is old and has to live with him. I’m starting to see why the 自殺 rate is so high…..

The issue here is whether or not a woman can choose to be buried with her own family once she has been married. Since she has 'left' her own family and 'joined' her husbands, some feel that she should only be buried with the husband's family. I think the bigger issue here is ‘who the hell cares?’, but again this is a tradition in Japan so common sense does not apply.

Women are making huge strides in Japan, which is great because they have had to put up with a lot of crap over the years. Even something as simple as keeping your last name when you marry causes a big stink and a lawsuit in Japan. Keep fighting the good fight ladies!