Real Japan

I went up to 'real' Japan for 2 weeks of work and I was shocked, once again, at how different life in Okinawa is.  I noticed all the little details when I first arrived in Oki, like the need for cars, diet differences, etc.  Now I'm starting to realize how different I am in Okinawa vs real Japan...and apparently I'm starving for Japanese conversation.  It's also apparent that I'm a glutton for punishment because I visited 4 major cities (Tokyo, Hiroshima, Osaka, and Fukuoka) over those 2 weeks...I need a nap

Anyway, to remedy my need for Japanese, my coworkers were kind enough to take me to some very chill whiskey and snack bars.  I've mentioned snack bars before but without too much elaboration, snack bars are bars with female staff, usually with an older woman in charge, and the staff hang out with you and mooch off of your booze all night.  So after a few drinks of liquid courage and a shot of fluency juice, my (limited) Japanese was pouring out of me and I truly felt better about being in Japan.  All was right with the world...the booze and the karaoke certainly helped too.

Real Japan, particularly the big cities I visited, also has a certain 'feel' to it.  The hustle, the energy, the faint smell of soy sauce and urine...It just feels right.    

Plus...THE WOMEN.  They are seriously on a completely different level.  Okinawa is playing pee wee football while real Japan is playing no holds barred MMA with flamethrowers, in SPACE.  I appreciate Oki's weather and laid back lifestyle, but that translates to laziness when it comes to fashion.  Sometimes you want to see insanely thin women rocking 8" boots and 4" skirts in a snow storm and looking fine as hell doing it.  

What was I talking about?  Ah, the mainland is awesome.  Okinawa is just too full of us foreigners to make it feel 'special'.  Plus, Okinawans see gaijin every day so they  treat you like real people instead of racist stereotypes or ask if you can use chopsticks.  Whats up with that??

Business Hotel Room...cause I thought it would be classier than showing a picture of the above mentioned hotty in 8" boots.

ノンアルコールビール

I am not sure how it started but walls of of non-alcoholic drinks are taking up valuable beer space in the markets and conbinis in Japan.  WHY???  This stuff is everywhere (even though I never see anyone buy it).

 

0% chance of fun times

There is REAL beer in every conbini, vending machine, grocery store and restaurant.  There is also the fake beer options of Happoshu and '3rd Beer' which provide twice the hangover for half the price.  So why all the trouble for non-alcohol?  I'm seriously asking, cause I'm not sure what the deal is.

My best guess is that Japan does not play games when it comes to drunk driving.  .03% is the legal limit.  Anything over and you get fed to Godzilla (citation needed).  Japan also has a HUGE drinking culture that dates back to when America was just a twinkle in Britain's eye, so there might be some pressure for designated drivers to drink something beer like during the festivities.

All joking aside, non-alcohol beer isn't too bad with vodka.

Nomunication

Now that I'm back in Japan, it's okay for me to talk about drinking (excessively?) and not sounds like a raging alcoholic.  Thank you Japan for helping me remain in the denial stage.

Drinking culture is crucial in Japan and not just because Japanese are uptight and need to unwind (which is not a bad reason). Drinking culture has its roots in Japan as far back as time and alcohol itself. I'm seeing it a lot now with the Bounenkai (drinking parties to 'forget the year') which are typically held in izakaya and bars.

Side note: I actually got a work email the other day from a coworker saying thanks for inviting him to the Bounenkai, but he is too hungover from the previous night's party to attend.  I think I'm going to fit in just fine at work.

As with all Japanese traditions, there is a process and rules you are expected to follow; have a few beers with coworkers for new years, fill your neighbor’s glass, drink a lot, etc. I forget the rules around drink 8, but there is a clear drinking culture and the best part is anything goes when you're drinking. The whole "I was drunk" excuse is more accepted here and you're almost expected to get a little weird and at least open up. I find that a little karaoke afterwards helps a bit.  Nothing forms bonds faster than a bunch of sloppy people enjoying good food, singing like idiots and just letting their guards down.  Some have coined this phenomenon of using beer to make friends as Nomunication (which is a clever combination of the word to drink, Nomu, and communication.

Here's to a great year and a lot more beers in the future.  I'll drink to that!

Convenience-Mendokusai Duality

Japan, in it's infinitely confounding nature, is always trying to screw with me.  Once I think I have a handle on Japan it throws me a knuckle-ball and puts me in my place.

Take, for instance, the utterly insane convenience of this place.  Want a beer?  Just swing by a vending machine, or conbini, or pretty much anywhere and buy one.  Want to drink said beer and not have to worry about driving?  Take one of the thousand trains or buses that run on time, taxis that automatically open and close doors for you, rickshaws and bicycles waiting at your disposal (Jon Evans does not condone riding a bicycle while intoxicated).  Need to sober up and wash out your mouth after puking on that train?  Grab some food from a conbini, bento or ramen truck, izakaya, or yatai that is within stumbling distance.

250 Yen Bento/Soba.  Way to be awesome Japan.

Just woke up in a haze and you realized your rent is due? Too freaking bad.  Put yourself together because apartments and banks have never heard of the internet.  You gotta do this crap in person. Paying rent typically requires you to withdraw money, like cash money, and bring it to the bank to deposit into the owners account.  What a waste of time.  I would rather be homeless.  It is hard enough to do any online apartment research yourself because the housing websites are SOOO bad.

How about getting a job to pay for that apartment?  Well just submit a resume and see what happens. Oh, and that resume needs to be hand written.  Seriously Japan, you make the best electronics on the planet yet you can't seem to figure out that people like using computers.  I'm using one now and it's awesome.  WEEEEEEEEEE!  Now please just take my money straight from my bank account so I can sleep this hangover off.

お酒

Sake is awesome. Often referred to as Japanese 'wine', If you don’t know too much about sake, this article will change what little you know about drinking and cooking with Sake. I found everything about this article to be good news.  For example:

Cheaper sake is better for cooking – great.
Sake doesn’t age well, so get it fresh and drink it quickly – done.
Sake is more like beer than wine, so I guess that means it’s cool to just drink it from the bottle?
Sake and mirin are also good ways of adding the mysterious umami taste to your food – awesome

 My latest sake du jour

Many people point to umami as the reason Japanese food is so filling and delicious. And interestingly, combining salty/sweet/sour with umami creates a tasty sensation greater than the sum of their individual parts. For you Japanophiles, it’s like a half saiyan/half human being more powerful than both species apart – they compliment each other and make your taste buds go super saiyan…or something lame like that.

I'd like to conclude with what I call, the void.  Not to get too sidetracked but in addition to ‘reverse culture shock’, a return back from Japan leaves a hole in your stomach that cannot be filled with American cuisine. If you go to Japan for any extended period of time, going off of Japanese food cold turkey is a rough time. On my visits to America I found myself eating all day, every day and never EVER getting full. This may have combined with the sadness of leaving Japan and the crying myself to sleep, but it is not just me.  My friends who have visited for mere weeks reported the same thing happening to them.  Just one more reason to never leave Japan.

Hotel Fine, I Just Can't Get Enough

Well, I added a few more points to my Hotel Fine members card a little bit ago. I'm well on my way to that Nintendo DS!

Thankfully, Hotel Fine had all the amenities I remember. They still had some free snacks and water in the fridge, free Tsubaki shampoo, and free breakfast. Did I forget to mention free alcohol? Because I got a pitcher of beer and some umeshu just for myself, and it was all included in the 9000 yen price. The normal price for this particular room was around 10,500, so it really pays to be a member (membership is free).

The breakfast was actually MUCH better than I remember too.

Even if you are a veteran to love hotels, Hotel Fine is a great place to spend the night. It's reasonably priced, but has spectacular service.  It was, however, a bit different from what I remember.  For one, I actually had to speak to a real live person, face to face, to get the key to my room...how am I supposed to remain anonymous when I have to talk to real people??  The last time I was at Hotel Fine, I walked in, saw which rooms were lit up (signaling that they were available) on the wall and picked one.  The room number is printed onto a receipt and lights guide you to your room which is already unlocked.  This past time, all of that happened, except when I pressed the button for my room, a lady came from around the corner to give me the key....weird.

Thankfully, not everything changed and they kept the vibrator and ridiculously complicated alarm clock next to the bed...I'm not sure where I was going with this.  I guess my point is that Hotel Fine is still a quality hotel, with a lot to offer.  I would rate Hotel Fine among the top things to check out in Osaka; right behind Hep 5 mall, but before Osaka Castle.  

Japanese Food

Japan and I have always had our disagreements when it comes to food.  It is delicious and healthy, but since its hard to fight thousands of years of tradition (did I say hard, I meant impossible), I have let  my vegetarianism slide a little in Japan for the sake of convenience and my sanity. To give you some idea of what I have to deal with, products still advertise, in bold letters, that they cook with lard.

But once you get passed the fact that meat is in everything, you'll see that it is only in small quantities and Japanese food is very vegetable heavy.  If you order curry or even a steak in Japan, the meat is generally just a small portion of your dinner (an issue many American visitors complain about).  Friendly note; a hanburg steak (ハンバーグステーキ) is not a steak, its a hamburger patty.

Speaking of veggie heavy, the vegetables actually taste like vegetables!  Vegetables in Japan are tasty and satisfying.  The first time I ate a tomato in Japan was a life changing experience.  I think this has to do with Japan using less chemicals to grow food (at least the food they have imported uses less chemicals; Japan only grows about 20% of its own food), but veggies are considerably more expensive as a result.  Japanese cooking is all about bringing out the natural flavor of the food, not covering it in sauce or spices, so it really helps that the ingredients taste like they're supposed to.

Unless I'm doing the dishes, I don't have a problem with home cooked Japanese food.  Since a lot of Japanese food has to do with presentation, a TON of dishes are used, but it looks pretty.  Even when you're not eating at a tapas style restaurant, which is also really popular in Japan, meals still tend to have many plates instead of just one large one.

Now for the gross stuff.  Yakiniku places (korean bbq style restaurants where you cook your own meat) often have Horumon on the menu.  Horumon (ホルモン) are cow and pig entrails and the Japanese word is actually derived from the words 'throw away' and 'thing'.  Other garbage parts of the animals include chicken hearts, which are common at Torikizoku.  For some reason, I'm more okay with these animal parts than with katsuobushi, かつお節.  Katsuobushi is dried bonito fish skin flakes that dance around on your food when your food is hot....and they put this stuff on EVERYTHING... 

However, Japan has Caesar Salad Doritos and Ham and Cheese flavored Pretz, so all aforementioned problems are forgiven. 

Japan's creativity for eating disgusting parts of animals is only exceeded by their creativity in combining foods, that are individually delicious, into works of food art.

発泡酒 Where do we go from here?

What started as a ploy to avoid beer tax seems to have gotten out of hand.  The more I shop around for beer and its cheaper substitutes, the more I am surprised by the creativity of avoiding the beer tax.  I get it though, because nobody anywhere wants to pay more than twice the money for a six pack of real beer.  But at some point when they coined the phrase "3rd Beer" (第三のビール), somebody had to raise their hand and ask what the hell was going on...

6-Pack of Real Beer: $14, Happoshu: $8.50...not a difficult decision

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Happoshu, but a "beer like beverage" did not sound good at all when I first heard about it.   I guess I should consider myself lucky that I had Happoshu accidentally before I knew what it was, because I may have been turned off by the idea.   Ever since I've had this delicious hangover juice, I've never looked back!

That's a thing of beauty

おすすめは？

Kirin's Nodogoshi nama (のどごし生) is made with soy beans and is actually not that bad.  Other 3rd beers are made with other forms of protein, but I'm having trouble keeping track.  Lately I've been picking this and other Happoshu brands over other beer just due to curiosity.  Asahi Clear is also good, but as I recall the Asahi Aqua was only maa-maa. 

Of the ones above only the Nodogoshi Nama is 3rd beer.  3rd Beer goes beyond the limits of Happoshu and skips the use of malt entirely and you would think this would sacrifice taste, but its growing on me and I bet it will grow on you too.  3rd Beers like スリムス are even using the lower calories of 3rd beer as a selling point.  That's not a huge selling point for me, but since beer is a HUGE part of Japanese drinking culture, it likely pays to go with a lower calorie beverage.  All you have to do is ignore the fact that it is not beer, and just enjoy these drinks for what they are; a cheap and hopefully tasty beverage to start off a good evening.


If you've ever had a reasonably priced beer in Japan, you've probably had Happoshu or possibly 3rd Beer and didn't even notice, because reasonable priced beer is hard to come by. This goes without saying but despite Happoshu/3rd Beer being dirt cheap, it still beats every Bud and Miller product I've ever tasted.  

Now to put all this information to good use.  Go out and get a bit tipsy!  べろべろになろう！

Expensive 'cultural' experience

I had intended to make my next post about something a little more cultural, but I had the opportunity to attend a watered down mizu shoubai 'event' in Umeda, Osaka (no pun intended). This past Friday some friends and I payed a visit to a bunny bar. This is on the lower end (financially) of mizu shoubai but was nevertheless an interesting cultural experience.

We were lured in to this fine establishment by a sweet talking Japanese girl who appeared to be no older than 18. I was a little wary at first because the bunny bar concept was still new to me.
A Bunny Bar, is not the kind of thing you see a lot of in America. I think the closest comparison is Hooters, but the atmosphere is completely different. The atmosphere inside the bar was hardly sexual, except for the outfits of course. The women seemed genuinely friendly and never really forced us to drink. The girls would ask lots of questions and always smile. We were essentially paying more to drink at this bar because the women were made to talk to us. I guess I dont really see the harm in this kind of business, but I still don't quite see the need for this kind of business. I think the fact that I am a foreigner makes it easy for me to remove myself from the situation. Long story short, we actually managed to leave the bar after spending only 3000yen, not too bad.

Upon coming to japan I found the whole idea of mizu shoubai and the trillions of yen a year sex industry very interesting. How did this phenomenon come about and why is there a need for it? Is there so much stress in Japanese society that this is not only needed, but common place??
Hopefully I will have some answers in the near future.


If you are interested, there is a great documentary about host clubs in Osaka entitled The Great Happiness Space

http://www.thegreathappinessspace.com/