Japanese TV

Well, it already happened.  I have been in Okinawa for only a week and already want to throw myself off a building when I catch a glimpse of a television, and Buddha help me if a variety show is on.  I honestly can't believe Japanese television is not considered torture by the UN.  I truly believe that Japan's television programs (and lack of any real swear words) are causing the large suicide rate in this country.  It is, dare I say it, almost as bad as Fox News.

I could rant for days but this guy did it for me, and with much more linguistic color.  It's poetic how well this man can describe our shared distaste for this crude excuse for entertainment.  

There is the distinct possibility that there is a language/cultural barrier and that one day I'll just 'get it', but until then I will be confounded by why every punchline to a half joke is written in bold letters across the screen; why all variety shows hire the sound guy from Nickelodeon; why anyone cares about the so called celebrities on these shows; and what in the eff is up with all the effing food!  It's JUST food!

Just 2 days ago I saw Japanese "celebrities" sing all the "greatest" "hits" from the past decades (did you see how many quote marks I used?).  Yesterday was the usual walking aimlessly down streets and trying mildly interesting food and wait for it.....OISHII!  The 'best' thing on so far was watching 2 teams play a Japanese form of Lingo.

At least the commercials are unintentionally hilarious.  

I need to stop eating with the TV on...

What Commercials Are Teaching Us

Japanese TV and I have never really seen eye to eye.  Seriously Japan, why do you spend, literally, millions of dollars to produce commercials while spending what looks like $3.75 on the drama that these commercials air after.  Commercials are blockbuster quality yet Japanese dramas make American soap operas look like the latest Michael Bay film...but I digress.

Japanese commercials have given me a lot of insight into Japanese culture.  Not everything I learn watching CMs is positive, but I'm always learning.  This got me thinking about what other Americans, especially those not living in Japan, think about these commercials.  And if you flip that, what are Japanese learning from the garbage America produces?

Well I got a partial answer the other night when Tosh aired a Japanese commercial in which Tommy Lee Jones in singing.  There's no doubt that he looks completely out of place, but the commercial is supposed to be kinda serious yet just Jones' presence makes it funny to Americans.  Those Japanese sure are weird!  Yet Tommy Lee Jones has been doing commercials in Japan for years, and has become quite the icon.  Just thinking of the name Tommy Lee Jones makes me want a boss coffee.

I'll join him on the rainbow mountain any day

By the same token, American commercials are teaching Japanese that American men are only smart enough to order dollar food and also pansies who can't even voice an opinion to women.  Like this McDonald's commercial where some unfortunate bastard is afraid of getting kicked out of his house for considering Sundays are a good day for football.  I hope Japanese women don't watch too many of these American commercials and start thinking that's acceptable behavior...

Speaking of McDonald's, here is a Japanese McDonald's commercial.  Not only are they introducing something new, the shrimp filet, but its cheerful and the woman is happy not emasculating some poor sap.  And this commercial teaches us that Japanese women are adorable, and that you don't need to actually show any food to sell it.   Sure sex sells, but Japan doesn't really go for full on sex.  They usually go for ridiculously cute.  From this you can conclude that Japan has a strong kawaii culture while keeping up conservative appearances and not talking about actual sex.  See, we're learning!

Even if you've never been to Japan, you can just type CM into youtube, check out some videos and let the learning begin.   

Seriously Japan, really???

I just watched ダーリングは外国人 and a terrible commercial for a smartphone in japan. Both of which had a black dude (黒人) that I've seen in on ultra wifi posters in various train stations. Well, I made the mistake of asking why he was in those commercials/movie...and nobody can freakin tell me.

Does nobody else see whats odd about this picture??

 I'll give you a hint, it has nothing to do with the robot

Seriously though, Japan is not too big on asking questions, so it would not surprise me if this dude just showed up the day they were filming this commercial and nobody wanted to tell him to get out of the way of the camera.

Anyway, besides this mysterious black dude, the movie ダーリングは外国人 was okay, for a Japanese movie.  The first 30 minutes were kind of interesting, and I could definitely relate to a lot of the experiences.  It seems like every gaijin in Japan has a problem speaking Japanese.  Not because it's hard to speak it, but because as soon as you open your mouth people expect to hear English.  Even if you're the most fluent gaijin in Japan, nobody will 'hear' your Japanese.  Its a really weird phenomenon and this movie opens with this sort of exchange within the first 5 minutes.

The movie is based on a manga (or an Anime?), so throughout the movie they show little cartoon clips that look like this.  To keep the mood light, they also show brief clips of interracial couples (Japanese women and some kind of foreigner) who share little stories about their relationship.  That's a cute idea, except EVERY gaijin was a total goober.  The main character Tony was the only one who represented us gaijin in a good light. 

Like I said, the first 30 minutes were kind of interesting, then the movie kind of drags on, so don't feel bad if you fall asleep, I certainly did!

So if you're a cool gaijin in Japan, give this movie a try, and then go out and continue to be awesome to offset some of the damage caused by this movie.