Why Do You Love Japan?

This is a question asked of expats and general travelers alike (I was asked twice today). Unfortunately it is often a loaded question where the one asking is just waiting to refute whatever you have to say.

Myself: I love Japan because it’s the safest, most beautiful place I’ve ever been.

Some dude: Yeah, but we have guns and steak and cars. I can’t live without my cars, guns, and steak…

Myself: Well you can keep your guns and cars, I’ll take my 90lb women, cheap canned booze, and a reliable train system not covered in urine.

It is pretty easy to respond to loaded questions. If someone is generally interested in what you have to say, it is incredibly difficult to sum up Japan in 3-5 bullet points, but I did my best.

Seriously, even though Japan seems like one big city, it is squeaky clean. It has its fair share of sketchy , dirty back alleys and homeless people, but compared to Miami, New York, Vegas, Seoul, anywhere else I’ve ever been, Japan is the cleanest. You don’t see gum on the sidewalk. You don’t see newspapers and cigarette butts in the streets. You don’t see graffiti on the subway. You don’t see condoms in parking lots. Dare I go on?

Notice the lack of dog turds and Chinese takeout pamphlets.

You don’t need to drive. Not that driving is that much of a pain in the ass, but think about all the money you spend on a car, gas, maintenance, and insurance. Wouldn’t it be nice if you had that extra money in your pocket? Yes, trains, taxis and buses cost money, but you don’t really NEED to take these modes of transportation. Even in the outskirts of major cities a bar, grocery store, conbini, restaurant, or anywhere else is just a 20 min or less walk or a 10 minute bike ride. To add to that, there is ZERO need for a designated driver. Just take a second to soak that in. You can drink as much as you want, whenever you want and never have to worry about getting home. Lastly, though trains can take a bit of time, it is time that you can be productive. Emails, reading, stock exchange, whatever you can bring with you can be done during your commute. Also, Asians can't drive...Still no trash

I’ve never been in a better mood or better shape than in Japan. Not only is Japanese food inherently more healthy (yakiniku and corn mayonnaise pizza excluded) but the extra biking and walking does wonders. After a few short weeks in Japan you'll be one genki SOB. As a bonus, you are surrounded by a population just as skinny and sexy as you are.

True, Japan is not for everyone, but I believe a lot of this has to do with everyone being retarded.

変な自動販売機

Japan is often quoted as having the weirdest vending machines, and after looking at these 12, I’d say Japan probably still wins with the lobster vending machine (more like a UFO catcher really). I was happy to see that other countries made the list though.

I’d have to say the bike dispenser seems like a really sweet idea. This doesn’t have a place in Japan as everyone owns a bike already, but America could most definitely benefit from it.

Though it may seem like Japan goes out of their way to make ridiculously crazy or specific vending machines, they are there for a purpose. Japanese people have a different cultural background so while liquor, t-shirt, and banana vending machines sound weird in America, having vending machines that only sell food and sodas seems like a bunch of BS in Japan. Even the weird ones the US has to offer (like the pizza and live bait) are just different takes on food
convenience. To your defense America, the marijuana vending machine is pretty cool.

The above mentioned ‘t-shirt’ vending machines are found at Round 1, a multi-story playground of awesomeness. Round one has something for everyone, mini-bikes, video games, tennis courts, bowling, karaoke, batting cages, the list goes on. Coming straight from work, you don’t
want to hit the batting cages or risk wiping out your mini-bike in a suit. Why not pay a couple hundred yen for a t-shirt and shorts? Granted the t-shirts are so thin they’re practically see-through, its still better than wrapping your tie up in your mini-bike chain.

Its only a matter of time before they have neck brace vending machines.