日本語能力試験

The Japanese Language Proficiency Test, JLPT for short or the 日本語能力試験 for the opposite of short....long, I guess.

I mentioned a while back that I'm studying for the JLPT, and so far I haven't given up.  I don't  really believe that this test can adequately assess your Japanese ability, but Japan has an unhealthy relationship with exams and sometimes you just need that little piece of paper to say you're smart.  In all seriousness, the whole exam taking process in Japan has gone insane.  Picture the SATs, but every few years starting in elementary school.  From the time you learn how to write you are given entrance exams into all levels of school.  I love Japan, but I'm glad I didn't have to grow up in its school system. Sure I'm legally retarded from going to public school in America, but at least I didn't have to take soul crushing exams that determine my future from 1st grade.

The JLPT is just another wack exam that is a good idea for any gaijin who wish to work in Japan.  Why am I taking this exam since I think it blows?  Having a tangible goal is a great motivator for me to buckle down and study the language, especially the parts of the language I hate (I'm talking about you, Kanji).  The amount of kanji/vocab/grammar needed to pass each level of the JLPT is clearly defined, so to pass this exam you basically just need to go through the lists of required kanji/vocab/grammar and commit them to memory.  This website lays it out quite nicely.  Is that all language is?  Memorizing selected vocabulary and being able to regurgitate it?  No, of course not.  You don't even have to speak Japanese during the test, so this is obviously not a perfect method for testing language fluency. 

The one thing I do like about the JLPT is how it classifies the levels of Japanese and it requires a high level of Japanese to pass the N1.  5 is SUPER easy and 1 is insanely hard.  There are a lot of Japanese books out there, and they all have their different take on what beginning through advanced is, but the JLPT has a pretty good layout.  In contrast, the Pimsleur and Rosetta Stone have a pretty low bar for 'advanced'.  I thought about listing some good study books, but you can just as easily google JLPT N2 grammar and kanji and find which sites work best for you.  

Those that took the exam in December should be getting results soon.  Good luck to everyone that took the JLPT.  I can't wait till I get my own piece of paper that tells me what I already know - that I can できる the 日本語！

ホスト in Japan

For an inside scoop into the more seedy and REAL Japan, I strongly suggest you check out this book and blog.  It is written by an extremely good friend (and nampa mentor) of mine.  If you've ever seen The Great Happiness Space and wondered how true it is, wonder no more!

While hosting can be a great way to destroy your liver and throw up blood, it is also a pretty great way to score chicks and practice your Japanese.  I'm not trying to give a sales pitch for the profession, because it pretty much sells itself.  Also, I'm just saying that you shouldn't be so quick to diss these effeminate men (?) when you see them stalking their 90lb prey in downtown Osaka. 

In all seriousness though, it is a pretty good gig, especially if you're a foreigner.  Its pretty hard to get a legit job in Japan, even if you do speak Japanese.  Many host clubs have Yakuza connections so hiring a gaijin isn't really a problem for those folks. 

What are you still doing on my blog?  Give the link above a shot and get inside the head of a tall, blonde, gaijin with a golden shamrock up his ass.  This dude has some stories.