What's the Color of Eggplant?

To all you 'mericans out there, Japan is a strange and beautiful place.  Many things that are "normal" in Japan are not normal in America or anywhere else, which is a big reason I love Japan.  It works the other way too.  Truck nuts and fat chicks??  Not normal in Japan. 

This sounded so stupid the first time I heard it, but it also kind of freaked me out.  I had just downed half a bottle of Rum Chata, and I was hiccuping like crazy when a certain Japanese lady asked me, whats the color of an eggplant?...what the hell does that have to do with anything??  ....WOAH, my hiccups stopped!  I've NEVER heard this before, but apparently its one of those Japanese wives' tales (like drinking from the wrong side of the glass, or being scared).  I can't really speak for the validity of this, because I've only tested it once, but it worked for me.  Next time someone has the hiccups, ask them "なすの色は何色？" 

Rikimaru is awesome...but whats the color of that Eggplant over there??

Study Up!

Coming from someone as lazy as myself, this may not sound all that convincing, but to seriously pick up Japanese you need to buckle down. For too long I've been relying on Osmosis to do the work for me.  I've surrounded myself in Japanese music (Otsuka Ai, and Ayaka mostly), Japanese friends (mostly girls), and books that I'd thumb through whenever I felt like it.  There are a few problems with this method of 'studying'.

For one, only hearing women speak is hugely detrimental.  There are things that only women can get away with saying and you don't want to pick up on these (ending your sentences in 'wa' and 'mon' just for starters).  Think of making guy friends as an investment that will pay off later when you have more manly Japanese and the Japanese girls are lining up for your phone number.  Its only fun to be the cute gaijin that speaks a little girly for so long (trust me).  Though girly Japanese may work for nanpa, good luck getting a job in Japan talking like a high school chick. 

Second, I found that when I learned at a leisurely pace, I was forgetting as much as I was learning. Sisyphus is no model for language learning.  The only way to stay ahead is to cram your face
with as much Japanese as possible, and that unfortunately takes commitment.  Since I've been working, I've lost 9 hours of study time per day.  I'm starting to wish I'd majored in Japanese so I'd have this language down by now...why did I have to get a degree in a marketable skill?

Third, much like working out, putting in just a few hours a week will only yield results for so long.  You will plateau unless you are constantly challenging yourself.  Unlike working out, you can't just take language steroids and get fluent in a week.  I've used Rosetta Stone, Japanesepod101, and Pimsleur but they only worked when I was constantly using them and pushing past my comfort zone (which is more difficult than it sounds because Rosetta Stone and Pimsleur don't really teach beyond intermediate Japanese).  

I doubt this will be all that motivating for anyone out there, because I wrote this for myself.  I've set a goal to take the Nihongo Noryoku Shiken and I need to remind myself to study up.  You hear me Jon Evans??  Pass the N1 or N2 and you've got an in for a Japanese job, so don't drop the ball!

Extra Hard Cock Grease

Now I'm sure some of you reading this were probably looking for porn, so I'm sorry to disappoint you.  But this is a real thing.

SEE!

You can find these little gems of ridiculous word play all throughout Japan.  Though everyone "learns" English from grade school, somehow these things slip though the cracks.  You would think that in the global age of the internet someone would do a google search of Cock Grease to see if that was an appropriate name.  It would only take 10 seconds to realize that this product name didn't exactly bring up good imagery to sell hair wax. 

In the above photo, that woman walked in and blocked my shot, but you can sort of read the sign for the water they are advertising.  Its called Clytia, They have a Website.  Anyone else getting thirsty thinking about Clytia??

But of course the winner of broken and busted English will always go to clothing.  I really need to remember to take more pictures of this kind of stuff.  Even though I speak English as a first language, there is no way I'd ever be able to think of putting "All My Exes Got Married" on a shirt.  I love you Japan, but I will never fully understand you.